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: An "interview" with a woman who emerged from the store with a thousand-yard stare, detailing how the "hostile environment" of the seasonal aisle and the "brutal psychological warfare" of the self-checkout lane aged her by decades. 2. The Lifestyle "Maintenance" Absurdity : Local Woman Has Her Spirit Ravaged By

: Using "Unusual, Extreme Specifics" to make a relatable failure funny. The Onion returned from vacation 20 years ago today

: "Including the Elephant"—stating the obvious truth that everyone feels but rarely sees in news.

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