: A central theme is the "secret legacy"—trauma passed from father to son. Real argues that unless a man deals with his depression, he will likely pass the condition, or the trauma causing it, to his children. Key Behavioral "Masks"

is the classic, visible form of the disorder, involving paralysis, despair, and withdrawal.

: Real posits that boys are wounded early (ages 3–5) by a societal "code of masculinity" that demands disconnection from their own hearts, desires, and mothers. He describes this as a process of "turning boys into men" by making them invulnerable.